“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” – Theodore Roosevelt
I love this quote by Theodore Roosevelt, it is a quote I keep on my wall to remind myself to STAY “in the arena” – stay in the journey of life and stay in the fight towards pushing my purpose despite rejection and closed doors!
We all have heard that saying “rejection is REDIRECTION!” And boy oh boy, let me tell you, that is TRUE!
When doors close on us or when they aren’t opened for us, we can’t help but feel a tinge of sadness, ALOT of disappointment, and maybe even begin to question or doubt whether we’re cut out for “this” or whether what we thought was our purpose is really our purpose at all. Trust me, I have been there many times. I’ve definitely been down and out and even questioned myself from time to time.
But now that I am alot older and have had alot more experiences, one thing I can say for sure is God has never ever closed a door to not open another door that was far greater than the one I sought to go through.
2020 brought job losses, redundancies, layoffs, terminations – events that many persons are still grappling with, and if you have experienced any of these events, I want you to have faith and know, that God’s purpose for your life is in process. You may not be able to see the entire staircase, but I can assure you, God would not take you off the path you were on, if the path to another staircase was not ready and glistening and shining even brighter for you to walk upon!
I have had doors closed on me, relationships ended and been distraught and devastated in the moment, when several months or years later, I looked back and praised God to the highest (jumped up and down thanking Him for closing those doors!!)
So stay focused, keep your mood up, and keep going! Better is in store for you!
So take the lesson in the loss, ask yourself, okay how can I present myself better? Well that interview was good practice! Ok, where next do I turn? Failure is an absolute must have ingredient for success – it’s like a cake, you can’t make a cake without flour. You can’t have success without closed doors – it’s part of the process, part of God’s plan.
This also applies to support – so many times we expect people around us to support us! Listen to me people, your friends and family are not your target audience, they’re not. And I know that hurts right, you’ll I felt that here in my heart (I’m a Cancer). I want everyone to support me, I want people to support my daughter because she is the greatest little kid I know, how could they not?! Right, but I had to tell myself and I continuously have to tell myself – my friends and my family are not my target audience! If they support you, great. If they don’t support you, great. God would never equip you with talents, gifts, ideas, and vision if he had no means to have any of those realized. I also grew up in the Caribbean, anyone that grew up in the Caribbean has heard of the “Black Crab Syndrome” – this absolute false belief that if she gets ahead, I can’t (but that’s a whole other blog post right! LOL) Don’t focus or get caught up in your emotions or expectations of who should support you. Focus on your purpose, keep grinding and pushing, and focus on giving your product or service to the people that see your value!
And I’ll give you an example, I reached out to a friend/colleague/person I know who has (we’ll call it “marbles”, lol) 5,000 “marbles” to partner with me on a social impact mission to empower and inspire children to believe in themselves and their capabilities – that person said they weren’t sure and would get back to me, I reached out to another person who I knew socially with 15,000 “marbles” to partner on this dynamic social mission, that person first didn’t respond, then apologized for their delay and said they were caught up in the hecticness of life but they would make time to partner (which I so appreciated), it’s been several days and haven’t heard a peep squat from them. A stranger with 1,000,000 MARBLES (yup a MILLION marbles youlllll, break out that glass of Black Girl Magic Red Blend! :)) reached out to me and asked me to partner – LOOK AT GOD! WON’T HE DO IT!
(cue Koryn Hawthorne’s song “Won’t He Do It, He Said He Would!” right here lol!)
HAVE FAITH IN GOD! Trust Him, HE WILL MAKE A WAY! He knows your heart, He sees your intentions, He sees the purity of your intentions, He appreciates your value like no one else in this universe will. Trust Him and HIS process.
And one last thing! Don’t take it personal! Don’t hold grudges. Alot of times we don’t know the back story, someone may have been advocating for us in the background, a friend manager may have been fighting to ensure that we were not laid off, a good acquaintance may have been fighting for a budget to allow us to speak at an event but they may not have been successful despite their aggressive advocacy. Don’t take things personal or take it as persons are not supporting you! I read a book on Psychological Triggers where I learned that research shows that the majority of times, people are not maliciously out to get us, they’re not – a majority of the time, their actions or lack thereof when it comes to negatively affecting us are unintentional, negligent, or have to do with their own feelings about themselves (insecurities, etc.) So ease up on people, come on man, we’re grown people here, with kids and bills and health issues and all.
Part of God’s plan is for things NOT to happen when we want them to at times (yup, I said it, NOT, the title of this blog is Closed Doors are Part of God’s Plan!), because every single time God’s vision and purpose for our life is WAY GREATER than the vision and purpose we have for own lives! GOD also has a duty to protect us, even from things and circumstances we don’t believe in the moment we need protection from, because He sees a picture we can’t see from our vantage point! Accept the circumstances as if you had chosen them yourself! You do what you can do, THEN LET GOD DO THE REST!
REJECTION IS REDIRECTION!
CLOSED DOORS ARE PART OF GOD’S PLAN!
So when those doors close, when those people don’t respond, when they tell you “no”, be polite and say “thank you so much for your time and even considering me, or thank you so much for the opportunity to work with your team the past few years, etc.” (don’t burn any bridges my people!) and keep it moving, because THE BEST IS YET TO COME!
xxoo,
Iyandra
